Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
