we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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