Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
