Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
