Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
