Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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