That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
