I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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