have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
