C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
