We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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