it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
