i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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