I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
