somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize