Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
