yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
...so i touched it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
