Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The convent might be a nice break from real life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
