Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
