is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
