Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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