I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
