"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
