I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
