Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
