I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
