I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
