I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
