You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
