Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
