You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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