And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Watching her eat just hurts me
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
