this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
