Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
