he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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