just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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