You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
