Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
