Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
