My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
