D3 body, D1 cock
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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