he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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