Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
