Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
