great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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