So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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