I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
