Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize