shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish i was in the wii world.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
