i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
