remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
