She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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