Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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