his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
