So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
